CHAPTER TWELVE
Daniel and Sam rose early the next morning. Neither one of them had gotten very much sleep even though they had done nothing more than hold each other. They were both worried about the confrontation with Pete, and those thoughts had made it difficult to get any rest.
As they got dressed and fixed breakfast, Daniel hovered over Sam, giving her little hugs and touches, letting her know that he was there for her. He knew that she was terribly nervous, dreading what was coming. He wished that there was some way he could make things easier for her.
Finally, the time came for him to leave. He was taking his suitcase and duffel bag full of dirty clothes with him, figuring that he might as well do laundry while he was at home. Sam had made it clear that she wanted Daniel to come back to her place once the situation with Pete was resolved.
Sam followed Daniel out to his car and watched him put his bags in the trunk. Also in there were the boxes of artifacts and his laptop. Since Daniel had no plans to do any work at Sam's this weekend, he figured that he might as well take them and get them out of her closet.
Closing the trunk, Daniel turned to Sam and pulled her into a long, tight hug. "I wish you'd let me stay. I don't like leaving you to face this alone."
"I wish you could stay. I could use your emotional support. But it would be a really bad idea. Pete's going to be upset enough as it is. If you were here, I'm afraid that he might lose control and get into a fight with you."
"I know. But, Sam, if things get too intense, I want you to call me, okay? Promise me you will."
"I promise."
They shared a kiss, then Daniel got in his car and drove away. With a sigh, Sam went back inside. Too nervous to sit, she did a little house cleaning.
It was not quite an hour after Daniel left that a knock on the door announced Pete's arrival. Sam took a deep breath and opened the door.
"Hello. I'm the Hoover vacuum cleaner salesman," he said, that familiar twinkle in his eyes, "and I'd like to interest you in our latest model. It really sucks."
Sam gave him the warmest smile she could manage. "Sorry, not interested. You might have better luck with the next door neighbor. She'll buy just about anything if it's a man selling it."
Pete grinned and stepped forward, wrapping his arms around her. Sam accepted the embrace. When he tried to kiss her, however, she allowed him only a quick peck. Needless to say, Pete noticed. He looked at her closely.
"Is something wrong, Sam? How's your leg?"
"It's okay, a lot better." Sam paused. "Pete, there's something we need to talk about."
"Okay, now you're worrying me. Is it something to do with work? Did something happen?"
"No, it has nothing to do with work. Let's sit down."
Pete closed the door and followed her into the living room. He could see how tense and nervous she was.
"All right, so what is it?" he asked once they had settled on the couch.
Sam stared down at her clasped hands as she tried to compose her words. At last, she took a deep breath and looked at him.
"Pete, something . . . happened. I need to. . . ." Sam stopped. "God, this is hard." She decided that maybe a different approach would be better. "You remember me telling you about Jonas Hanson?"
Pete frowned. "The guy you were engaged to?"
Sam nodded. "Since I broke up with Jonas, I haven't had a single relationship that lasted more than a few dates. I mentioned to you how pretty much every guy I've become interested in since joining SG-1 has gotten killed."
"Sam, if this has something to do with you being afraid that something's going to happen to me—"
"No, that's not it. What I'm saying is that, for a long time, I was afraid to let myself love someone, have a relationship. It started when I broke up with Jonas. It was a bad situation that didn't end well, and it made me a little gun shy. What happened with those other men I told you about made things even worse. I became terrified that, if I got into a relationship with someone, something would happen, and I'd lose them. Because of this, I did a stupid thing. Years ago, I got kind of a crush on Colonel O'Neill. It was just a stupid crush that would probably have faded quickly under normal circumstances, but I didn't let it. I held onto the feelings because Jack was safe. He and I couldn't have a relationship because it's against regulations. I could safely have feelings for him, imagine that I was in love with him, and never have to worry about the danger of a relationship. I hid behind my feelings for him, used them like a shield.
"Not long before I met you, something happened that knocked some sense into me. I realized that I had been a coward all these years and that I was denying myself any chance at real happiness. You came along at a point in my life when I'd finally decided to take a chance again. What we've had these weeks has been great. You took away all the fear I'd had about caring for someone like this."
"I'm sensing a 'but' coming on."
Sam's eyes dropped from his. "Yeah. What I didn't realize all this time was that my fear and my crush on Jack were blinding me to something, to feelings I had for another person." Though it was hard, Sam looked at Pete straight in the eyes. "Pete, I'm in love with Daniel. I have been for years. I just didn't see it."
For a brief moment, Pete just stared at her. Then his expression abruptly darkened with anger. He stood up and strode away a few feet. Then he spun around. "I knew it! I should have listened to my instincts and insisted on staying with you myself. He did something, didn't he. He took advantage of you, and now you're saying this to protect him."
"No!" Sam exclaimed, leaping to her feet. "That isn't it at all! Yes, something did happen between us, but it was totally consensual on both our parts. In fact, in a way, I'm the one who went after him!"
"I don't believe that. You wouldn't do that."
"Listen, Pete. I shouldn't have to tell you this, but I'm going to anyway so that you will understand. Some things happened that resulted in Daniel kissing me. It was one of those sudden, spur of the moment things, and, afterwards, he was horrified by what he'd done and apologized. He confessed that he has been in love with me for a long time. And then he left. He walked out that door, Pete, with no intention of coming back. He was certain that he'd ruined our friendship. I'm the one who got him to come back here. I actually had to beg. We talked about what happened, and I just suddenly knew. I knew that I loved him. And then I kissed him. I'm the one who started it."
Pete's eyes narrowed. "You slept with him, didn't you."
"Yes."
The cop's eyes darted about. "Where is he? Is he hiding in your bedroom?"
"He's not here. I told him it would be best if he went home while I talked to you."
Pete quickly turned around and strode to the door, an expression of determination on his face.
"Where are you going?" Sam asked.
"I'm going to see Jackson. We have a few things to 'discuss'." He yanked open the door and headed outside. Sam ran after him.
"Pete, don't! You're making a terrible mistake. Daniel did nothing wrong! If you want to be angry at someone, be angry at me."
Pete did not reply. He just continued to his car. Sam grabbed his arm and swung him around, knowing it was time to throw away what was left of her pride.
"Dammit, Pete, listen to me! I was fantasizing about him! I had a dream about making love with him before he did anything that could even remotely be construed as sexual. Daniel was a perfect gentleman right up until the moment it happened. He did absolutely nothing intentional to influence me, which is totally amazing considering that he's been in love with me the whole time."
Not listening to her, Pete pulled his arm out of her grasp and took the final few steps to his car.
Seeing that she was not going to be able to talk the cop out of a confrontation with Daniel, Sam said, "I'm going with you."
"Why? So you can protect your new lover?"
Anger flashed through the major. "Daniel doesn't need my protection. He's more than capable of taking care of himself. I'm going with you because you're acting like an idiot, and I want to make sure you don't do something that will land you in jail."
"Fine."
They got in the car and headed for Daniel's house, Sam dreading what the confrontation between the two men would bring.
The sound of brakes squealing drew Daniel's attention to the window. He looked outside and saw Pete Shanahan getting out of his car, along with a very flustered and angry-looking Sam.
"Oh, boy. Somehow, I don't think this is a good thing," Daniel muttered to himself. He went to the door and opened it. Pete stopped several feet away and glared at him. Daniel met his gaze steadily. Then he stepped back, opening the door wider. The cop strode past him. Sam followed him in, giving Daniel a look of apology.
"I want to know what you did to Sam," Pete demanded a moment after Daniel shut the door.
Daniel's forehead puckered in confusion. "Excuse me?"
"Don't play innocent with me. What did you do? Seduce her? Play on her affections for you? Get her drunk?"
"Pete!" Sam yelled.
"W-w-wait a minute," Daniel said, his sudden outrage bringing on the stammer that he often got during moments of intense emotions. "You think I seduced Sam, that I tricked her somehow? Why would you think that?"
"Because I know how guys like you operate. You pretend to be harmless, just a good friend, but, inside, you're just waiting for your chance. Volunteering to take care of Sam while she healed was your big move to get her into bed."
Daniel took a couple of angry steps toward Pete. "Now, you hold it right there. You don't know me. You know nothing about me. I don't know who you think I'm like, but you're wrong. Yes, I do love Sam, and, yes, I have dreamed of being with her like this for a long time, but, more than that, she is my friend, and I'm hers, and I would die before I ever hurt her intentionally." He stared at the cop. "You know, if you really knew Sam, you'd know that what you're suggesting couldn't be true. How could you believe that she would be that weak and gullible? She is far stronger and more intelligent than you give her credit for." Daniel paused. "Or is this really to do with the fact that you just need someone to blame, and I'm the best target?"
Rage flashed through Pete, and his fist lashed out at the archeologist. All the training that Jack and Teal'c had drummed into Daniel over the years kicked in, and he dodged the blow, then, taking advantage of the moment that the cop was off balance, he grabbed the man's arm and pinned it behind his back. He only held it for a couple of seconds, however, before giving Pete a light shove forward and quickly stepping back a pace. The cop spun around to go after Daniel again.
"Pete! Stop it!" Sam screamed, stepping forward in an attempt to halt the fight.
"No, Sam, stay back," Daniel ordered. He turned back to Pete. "You want to hit me, Pete? You want to beat me to a pulp? Go ahead. I won't stop you this time. Believe me. I know exactly what you're feeling right now."
"You don't know a damn thing," the cop spat venomously.
"Yes, I do. You're angry, so angry that you want to pound someone or something into the ground, preferably me. And you're hurting. You feel like your heart has been ripped out of your chest and is lying crushed on the floor. I know what you're feeling, Pete, because I felt the same thing when Sam told me that she had a boyfriend."
Shocked, Sam stared at Daniel. He'd never given a clue about his feelings when she told him about Pete. He merely smiled and said that he was happy for her.
"Late that night, I went to the gym on base and started hitting the punching bag so hard that my hands were swollen the next day," Daniel confessed. "Fortunately, that was my day off, so no one ever knew. The difference was that I wasn't mad at you. No, my anger was directed at only me. I'd been too cowardly to tell Sam how I felt about her, and I thought that I'd lost my chance. For eight months I knew that I loved her, yet I said nothing, did nothing. And what made it even worse is that I'd figured out that I had been in love with her for years, years, yet I was too blind and stupid to realize it. I had to die and then lose my entire identity before I saw the truth." He snorted in disgust. "And they call me a genius. So, yes, Pete, I do know how you feel, and I am so sorry. I didn't want to hurt you. This wasn't part of some big plan to steal Sam away from you. I'd given up on ever having her the way I wanted her. I was prepared to be just her friend for the rest of my life. What happened between us was as big a surprise to me as it was to Sam. But I don't regret it. I can't. I love Sam more than anyone or anything in the universe, and I will love her till the day I die. I can't say I'm sorry for loving her, Pete. I only wish that someone hadn't had to get hurt because of it."
Pete stared at Daniel, seeing genuine regret, empathy and understanding in the man's eyes. He was not expecting this. He was expecting Jackson to be supercilious, arrogant and confrontational, someone Pete could hate. Instead, he was faced with a man who was honestly sorry that the person who loved the same woman he did was being hurt. The archeologist's whole bearing was of someone who did not want to fight, who did not look upon Pete as an enemy . . . someone who really did understand his pain and wished that it could have been prevented.
In spite of himself, Pete felt his anger lessening. He stared at the archeologist through narrowed eyes. "You really mean that, don't you."
"Yes, I do. I know what it's like to lose a woman you love. I felt it when I lost my wife, and I felt it again when I thought that my hopes of having Sam as more than a friend were gone. It's not something I'd wish on any man."
Pete stared at him a moment longer. Then he looked at Sam. Her eyes were pleading with him to step away. The cop's gaze returned to Daniel.
"What would you do if I tried to hit you right now?" he asked.
"Nothing," the linguist replied.
"You'd let me beat you up? Why? That maneuver you pulled on me shows that you're trained in hand-to-hand. Very well, I'd guess."
"Because I know how much you're hurting, and I don't want to harm you," Daniel's eyes went to Sam for a moment, "and because I couldn't hurt someone Sam cares about."
The two men stared at each other. There was no fear in Daniel's eyes, only calm acceptance of whatever was going to happen.
All at once, Pete understood why Sam loved and respected Daniel so much. This was a man unlike anyone he'd ever met.
"Then I guess there's nothing more to say," he said quietly, now feeling only sadness. He turned and left the house, ignoring the sound of Sam calling his name. He was at his car when he felt her hand on his arm. He turned and saw that she was crying.
"Pete, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," she said in a trembling voice. "I didn't want to hurt you. I'd never have wanted that."
"I know, Sam." Pete gave a short, humorless laugh. "You know, the funny thing is that a part of me already knew that you loved him. I just didn't want to admit it. I suppose I should be happy that you figured it out before you and I made any kind of commitment." His gaze went to the house. "He's not what I expected. I thought he'd be someone I could hate, somebody who wasn't good enough for you," he turned back to Sam, "someone I could win you back from. But that isn't going to happen, is it."
Sam didn't answer. There was no need. He already knew what the answer would be.
Pete touched her cheek. "Goodbye, Sam. I hope you'll be happy." He then got in his car and drove away, not looking back.
Sam stood unmoving, staring up the street long after Pete's car had disappeared from view. She did not know how long she had been there when she felt Daniel's arms come around her. She turned in his embrace and buried her face against him, letting the tears come. Daniel held her for a long time, his hand stroking her hair. He didn't say anything, knowing that there were no words that would soothe the pain inside her.
When Daniel felt that she was ready, he led her inside and sat with her on the couch, keeping her in his arms.
"I didn't want this to happen, Daniel," she whispered. "I didn't want to hurt him."
"I know, Sam, and Pete knows it, too. He's not mad at you, and he doesn't hate you."
"I know. He is such a good guy, Daniel. He deserved better than this."
"Yeah. But I think he'll be okay, Sam. It'll take a while, but he'll be all right."
Sam looked up at him. "I guess you'd know that from experience, wouldn't you."
Daniel nodded. "Though I only had a year with Sha're, it still took a very long time to heal from her loss. But I did eventually." He looked in her eyes. "It might take some time, but Pete will be okay. He'll be fine."
Sam looked up into his eyes. "Make love to me, Daniel," she pleaded.
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Without a word, Daniel took her to the bedroom. Slowly, he removed her clothing, kissing and caressing every inch of skin that was revealed, paying special attention to the places that brought her the most pleasure. Once she was naked, he allowed her to remove his clothing equally as slowly and lovingly, trembling as she touched his most intimate places. Then Daniel laid her on the bed and proceeded to make love to her with such tenderness and love that Sam almost wept from the beauty and joy of it. For an eternity, Daniel loved her with his hands and mouth, touching her, tasting her, bringing her to completion twice before he finally lay down upon her and entered her. Joining his hands with hers on the pillow, he moved inside her with slow and gentle purpose, feeling the rapture of their union in every part of his body and soul. They came together, their cries muted, yet echoing the ecstasy within them.
Lying safe and warm in Daniel's arms, Sam sent a little wish to whomever might be listening that Pete would one day find someone who loved him as deeply as Daniel loved her.
'Take care of yourself, Pete. I'm going to miss you.'
Daniel and Sam were subdued for the remainder of the day, though the archeologist did all he could to cheer her up and keep her mind off Pete. They had returned to Sam's place, Daniel figuring that she'd feel more comfortable in her own house.
It was shortly after dinner when Daniel finally got a genuine smile out of her when he told her that he'd dance like Michael Jackson again, if she wanted him to.
"Not a chance, Daniel," she responded. "You need to stay healthy and keep all your body parts working. I have plans for you."
"Hmm. Plans, huh? That sounds interesting." He got up. "Well, my dear, I have plans, too."
"Oh? And what would those be?"
"Wait and I'll show you. Now, close your eyes. I don't want you to see what I'm doing."
With another smile, Sam did as he asked. She heard Daniel walk into the kitchen. There was the sound of cabinet doors opening and closing, then his footsteps moved away. The door to the bathroom closed. A moment later, Sam heard water start running into the tub. Daniel made one more trip between the kitchen and the bathroom. Then there was silence, except for the sound of running water.
Daniel spent quite a while in the bathroom, and Sam was really getting curious about what he was doing in there. She was now resting her head against the backrest of the sofa. She was tired, the lack of sleep and the emotional turmoil of the day having drained her energy.
Sam was dozing lightly when a fingertip brushing down the side of her face woke her up. She looked up to see Daniel smiling down at her.
"Hey there, sleeping beauty," he said. "Don't go to sleep yet. Your surprise is ready."
Daniel held out his hand to Sam. She took it and let him pull her up from the couch. She followed him to the bathroom.
"Okay, close your eyes again," he told her. Once she had obeyed, he led her into the bathroom, which was delightfully warm. "Keep your eyes closed."
Sam stood with her eyes shut as she heard the rustling of cloth. Guessing that Daniel was removing his clothing, Sam felt a little quiver of anticipation pass through her. And then he began taking her clothes off. There was something very sensual about being undressed while her eyes were closed, feeling his touch on her body and being unable to see his hands.
At last, Sam was naked. Daniel went around behind her and put his arms around her.
"Open your eyes," he murmured in her ear.
Sam did so. A gasp escaped her lips when she saw what he had done. The lights were off, the room being lit by the flames of more than a dozen candles. The archeologist must have placed every candle she owned in the room.
"Oh, Daniel," Sam whispered. "It's beautiful." She turned around and wrapped her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly. "Thank you."
Daniel gave her a smile. Then he took her to the tub, which was filled with bubbles. He stepped in, then helped her in. They both settled into the water, Daniel behind Sam. He encircled her in his arms, holding her close to his chest.
For several long minutes, they stayed like that, Daniel's lips placing random kisses on Sam's neck and shoulders. Then he picked up the soap and began washing her. Sam lay her head back against him and closed her eyes, letting his hands take away all her pain. Never once did he make any attempts to turn what he was doing into something sexual, something to elicit excitement. His touch was slow and soothing, designed to relax her. When he washed her back and neck, his long, talented fingers gently massaged the tight muscles.
By the time Daniel was through, Sam was feeling deliciously drowsy and totally relaxed. They got out of the tub, and he dried her off with the same slow gentleness. After quickly drying himself, he told her to stay put and left to get her sleepwear, not wanting her to get chilled by going out unclothed into the relative coolness beyond the bathroom. When he returned, he was wearing pajama bottoms.
Once Sam was dressed, she and Daniel went into the bedroom. The bed had already been turned down. Daniel left her alone for a short while as he went back to the bathroom to blow out the candles and let the water out if the tub. Then he crawled into the bed with Sam, turned out the lights, and gathered her into his arms. With a contented sigh, Sam snuggled into his warmth and closed her eyes. A few minutes later, she was asleep.
Daniel looked at the woman in his arms, thinking that he could not be any luckier than he was at that moment. Then he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.
