CHAPTER FOUR
There was a pause before Daniel's voice bid Jack to enter. The
deep pain that flashed in the archeologist's eyes upon seeing Jack made
the colonel feel even more like a bastard. Daniel turned away from
him, focusing his gaze on his computer screen. His back was stiff,
his whole attitude screaming, "Go away!" But Jack wasn't about to
listen. Instead, he stepped further into the room and shut the door.
"Daniel, I. . . . Um, look, what I said on the planet, I didn't
mean those things. I—"
"Didn't you, Jack?" Daniel interrupted, his voice tight. "You sounded
pretty sincere to me."
"No. I was angry, on edge. I don't know why, I just was.
I'm sorry I said those things, Daniel. I wish I could take them
all back, but I can't. I know you think that I don't respect you,
but I do. I don't want you to leave SG-1. We need you on the
team. You're too valuable for us to lose."
Daniel finally turned to Jack, and what he saw in the archeologist's
eyes made his heart sink like a stone.
Daniel rose to his feet. "Valuable?" he said in a dangerously quiet
voice. "Respect? Was it respect you showed me every
time you disregarded my input, ignored what I was saying, and told me
to be quiet and do what you told me to? All the times you refused
to believe me, refused even to consider what I was telling you, was that
respect? Was it respect when you dismissed my claim that I'd been
to an alternate reality, thinking instead that I was delusional?
Were you being respectful when your first reaction to me telling you about
the message Sha're sent through the ribbon device was to suggest that
I'd imagined the whole thing? What about Reese, Jack? You
never once believed that I could talk her into turning off the Replicators.
You had no faith in me. All you wanted to do was blow her away.
And let's not forget the Enkarans and the Gadmeer. Where was your
trust and respect for me when I told you that I thought there was another
way to solve the problem other than blowing the entire Gadmeer civilization
to hell?! You wouldn't even give me the chance to try! I had
to go behind your back and just about let myself get blown up in the process!
And then there's that whole situation on Euronda, when you ignored everything
I was trying to tell you, not even giving me the common courtesy of allowing
me to state my concerns. Instead, you insulted and belittled me
repeatedly, humiliating me in front of an entire roomful of people.
Is that your idea of respect?!"
Each of Daniel's bitter, angry words were like lashes on Jack's soul, leaving raw, bleeding wounds. The last example cut deepest of all, for he was still ashamed by his actions on that occasion. Not only did he treat Daniel terribly, he also made a colossal error in judgment because he was too stubborn and short-sighted to see past his damned military instincts and look at the situation from Daniel's point of view.
Daniel continued, his voice shaking with repressed tears. "And
what about Ma'chello's little Goa'uld killers, Jack? You didn't even
try to find out if there was some external force causing my hallucinations.
Instead, you just accepted the belief that I was nuts and let McKenzie lock
me up in that padded room, abandoning me there, leaving me alone, and
scared, and fighting for my sanity. What that respect, Jack?
Was that a display of how valuable I am to you?"
Jack almost cried out from the pain caused by the archeologist's statement.
Of all the things he'd done to hurt Daniel, leaving his friend in that
mental facility had been the worst. For as long as he lived, he
would never forgive himself for not pursuing every possible cause for
what was happening to his friend and leaving Daniel alone in that awful place.
And what made it even worse was the knowledge that, if their positions
had been reversed, Daniel would not have rested until he found out what
was causing the illness. He would have instantly believed that something
unknown and deadly was the cause. And he would never have left Jack
alone in that place unless he was going off to find the answers, to help
his friend.
"How can you stand there and say that I'm valuable to you when you're rarely willing to accept my advice or recommendations without acting like you're pissed about it?" Daniel raged. "It's become abundantly clear to me that my knowledge and skills are of no value to you except for my ability to kill
the enemy. When I try to explain something to you, you turn a deaf
ear. When I attempt to reason things out, you have no patience to
let me work. You'd rather I be a good, obedient soldier who does
nothing but follow orders than a thinking, feeling human being who only
wants to do what's right!"
"Daniel, that's not true! I—"
"Shut up! Just shut up!" Daniel screamed, his
chest heaving. "When was the last time you told me that I'd done
a good job? When was the last time you really appreciated my abilities
as an archeologist and a linguist? And when, Jack, when did you ever tell me that you valued
my friendship, that you actually gave a damn about me? Where was that
so called friendship every time you hurt me with your words, with your
lack of respect, and trust, and faith in me? I died, Jack!
I was lying there, dying, and you couldn't even tell me how you felt about
me. Instead, you called me a pain in the ass, then oh so grudgingly
admitted that maybe, possibly, you might have admired me just a little.
Well, thank you so very much, Jack. Those are just the words that
a man dying in agony wants to hear!"
Jack staggered back as if Daniel had physically struck him, certain that,
if he looked down at his chest, he'd see a knife sticking out of his heart.
Daniel's last words had cut past every last one of his defenses and pierced
straight into his soul. He felt like the worst kind of slime.
Daniel was right. He wasn't a friend. Nobody would hurt a
friend like he'd hurt Daniel.
Daniel glared at Jack, seeing the man's face turn white, anguish filling
his eyes. He knew that he was being unfair, that Jack didn't
deserve many of the things he was saying, but the rage had taken control
of him, and he didn't know how to stop it. Years of pain and repressed
anger had risen to the surface and were boiling over uncontrollably.
The physical pain in his head was now almost blinding, and his chest felt
like it was on fire, every breath sending spears of agony through him.
A terrible weakness was creeping through his body, making him feel light-headed
and shaky. Daniel ignored it all as he continued to let his rage
overflow.
"I've had it, Jack. I've had enough. I'm tired of being verbally
beaten up, of being ignored, ridiculed, insulted and made to feel like
I'm worthless. So, just get the hell out of my office and out of
my life!"
Jack felt his heart shatter into a million pieces as he realized that
no amount of words were going to fix what he had done. He had destroyed
his friendship with Daniel. Overwhelmed by the grief and guilt of
that realization, Jack began to turn away. But, in the next instant,
those feelings were supplanted by fear and horror as a terrible cry of
pain tore from Daniel's throat. He staggered, his hands going to
his head. Then, before Jack could reach him, he crumpled into a
boneless heap on the floor.
"Daniel!" Jack fell to his knees beside the archeologist, alarmed
at the parlor of his friend's skin. Pressing his fingers against the
younger man's carotid artery, he felt Daniel's pulse beating with a weak,
rapid and erratic cadence. Jack rushed to the phone and called
for a medical team. Then he returned to Daniel's side, gathering
his fallen friend into his arms.
"Hang on, Daniel. Just hang on," he pleaded. "God, don't
you do this to me. Don't you dare even think of dying!
I'm not going to let you leave again. I let you go once, but not
again, never again."
Janet and the medical team soon came hurrying into the room. "What
happened?" she demanded to know, kneeling at Daniel's side to check is
vitals.
"I don't know," Jack replied. "We were . . . we were arguing, then
he just suddenly cried out like he was in pain and collapsed. He
grabbed his head before he fell."
Janet was checking Daniel's pupils. "Okay, we need to get him to
the infirmary, find out what's going on."
Daniel was loaded onto a gurney and quickly wheeled to the infirmary
with Jack hot on the heels of the medical team. Moments later, Sam
and Teal'c came rushing in.
"What happened?" Sam asked, fear in her voice.
"Daniel collapsed," Jack told her. "He acted like he was in terrible
pain. One second, he was standing there, and, the next, he was down."
The three members of SG-1 waited for some news on their fallen comrade.
They had all been ushered out of the infirmary and were now waiting just
outside.
Another hour and a half passed before the doctor appeared. Jack,
Sam and Teal'c moved toward her.
"What's wrong with him?" the colonel asked, the strain in his voice apparent.
He'd been pacing like a caged tiger for the past forty-five minutes.
"I wish I knew," the doctor replied with a sigh. "I have no explanation
for what's happening. Daniel's tests indicate the first stages of
massive organ failure. His heart, lungs, kidneys and every other
major organ in his body seem to be weakening. There's also inflamation
in the brain tissue."
"Oh my God," Sam whispered. "You have no idea what's causing it?"
Janet shook her head. "There are still tests that I need to run,
and all the results of the ones I ordered have not come back yet, but,
so far, I can find no sign of any kind of toxin, bacteria or virus.
I'll know more when all the tests are complete. I don't understand
it. There was no sign of any problem when I did the post-mission
physical."
"What are his chances?" Jack asked, feeling a bone-deep fear creep through
him.
"I can't say yet, not until I know more about what is causing this, but.
. . ."
"But what?"
"If we can't stop what's happening, Daniel will die."
The doctor's words sent a brief moment of panic through Jack. 'No!
This is not happening! Daniel is not gonna die!' He looked at the doctor. "Can we see him?"
"For a while. He needs rest. I've given him something for the pain, but he's still hurting."
They entered the infirmary, all of them except Janet heading over to
Daniel's bed. Jack hung back as Sam and Teal'c stepped up to their
friend. There was a frown of pain on the archeologist's pale face,
and his eyes were closed.
"Daniel?" Sam said, her voice shaking only slightly.
Daniel's eyes fluttered open. "Hey, Sam. Looks like I just
can't stay out of this infirmary, huh."
Sam gave him a gentle smile. "Yeah, you do seem to be attached
to this place. Got something going on with one of the nurses?"
Daniel chuckled and smiled weakly. "Ah, you figured out my secret.
Lieutenant Parker and I have been dating for a few months now."
The comment brought a wider smile to Sam's lips. Lieutenant John Parker was one of the orderlies, and rumor had it that he liked Daniel
a whole lot more than any man in the U.S. Military should like another man.
When Daniel first found out about the rumor, he'd been terribly embarrassed
and uncomfortable and had tended to avoid the lieutenant whenever possible.
Jack had had a lot of fun teasing the poor archeologist about the whole
thing . . . that is until he found out that there were also rumors that
he and Daniel were secretly lovers. Then it hadn't been so funny.
Sam's face grew serious. "How are you feeling?"
"Okay, I guess, all things considered." Daniel looked into Sam's
eyes, his gaze telling her that he knew how serious his condition was.
"Being here again shouldn't really surprise me. It seems like most
of my time off work is spent here. Maybe Jack's right. I really
do need to get a life outside the SGC."
"Well, as soon as you're out of here, we'll have to do something about
that," Sam told him in a falsely cheerful voice. All pretense of cheerfulness then vanished. "You're going to be okay, Daniel," she assured him, trying to convince
herself as much as him. "Janet will figure out what's causing this
and find a cure."
"Indeed. If a cure can be found, I have confidence that Doctor
Fraiser will discover it. She is an excellent physician," Teal'c
stated.
The archeologist nodded. His eyes flickered toward Jack then quickly
looked away, but even that brief look had been filled with emotional pain.
"I'm, uh, pretty tired. Maybe I should get some sleep," he said,
addressing his remark to Sam and Teal'c. "I'll see you later?"
"We will return when you are more rested, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c replied.
Sam leaned over and pressed a kiss to her friend's forehead. "Get
some rest. We'll be back in a couple of hours."
Not looking at Jack again, Daniel closed his eyes. As she passed
her commanding officer, Sam met his gaze for a long moment, then continued
on by. Teal'c also looked at O'Neill, the disapproval evident in
his eyes. Jack said nothing. He stood there in silence for
several moments, watching Daniel, then he turned on his heel and left
the infirmary. He went straight to General Hammond's office.
Janet was there, giving the general a report on Daniel's condition.
"So, you believe there is a chance that Doctor Jackson was exposed to
something on SG-1's last mission?" Hammond asked her.
"Yes, sir," she replied. "Daniel admitted that he hasn't been feeling
well since shortly after returning from the planet."
'Damn. Why didn't he say something?' Jack cursed.
"Come in, Colonel," Hammond said upon seeing Jack lingering outside.
"Doctor Fraiser has updated me on Doctor Jackson's condition. She
thinks it's possible that he was exposed to something on P7Y-359."
"How are you feeling, Colonel?" Janet asked. "Headache, tightness
in the chest, weakness or any other symptoms?"
"No, I'm fine."
"All the same, I think that I should run some tests on you, Sam and Teal'c,
just to make sure."
Jack turned to the general. "Sir, if Daniel was exposed to something
on that planet, then I think we should go back there and see if we can
figure out what it was."
"Well, let's wait to see what your test results turn up."
Jack was ushered back to the infirmary, along with Sam and Teal'c.
What seemed like a quart of blood was drawn from each of them, then they
were run through a bunch of tests and poked and prodded incessantly.
"Well, other than some mild chemical imbalances, which I could attribute to other factors, you all seem to be fine," Janet announced a while later.
"Most of the bloodwork's not back yet, but, from what I can see, you're
all healthy."
"So, if Daniel's illness was caused by something on the planet, then
it's something that only he was exposed to," Sam reasoned.
"Daniel Jackson was the only one among us who entered the temple," Teal'c
pointed out.
"Yeah, and, knowing Daniel, he probably touched everything in that place,"
Jack added.
"Well, as soon as he wakes up, I'll ask him," Janet said.
"I'm awake," came a voice from across the room.
The others went over to him.
"You should be sleeping, Daniel," Janet told him gently.
"I can't."
"Do you need me to increase your pain medication?"
Daniel shook his head. "It's okay. It's not the pain that's
keeping me awake."
Sam studied her friend. He looked even paler than he had before.
He also appeared to be having some difficulty breathing. Janet was
looking at the monitor beside his bed, a frown on her face.
"Your O2 Sat is down," she announced. "We're going to have to
put a cannula on you. How hard is it getting for you to breathe?"
"Not too bad yet, harder than a while ago." He attempted to draw
in a deeper breath. "Can I sit up? It's easier when I'm upright."
The back of Daniel's bed was raised until he was in a half-reclining
position. A nurse put a nasal cannula on him, and Janet increased
his pain medication, despite what he'd said about not needing it.
"Daniel, is it possible that you were exposed to something in that temple?"
Sam asked.
"I guess it's possible, though, despite what Jack thinks, I didn't touch
anything. I felt too . . ." his eyes darted Jack's way, "too uncomfortable
in there."
"Uncomfortable?" Janet enquired.
Yet again, Daniel's eyes shifted toward Jack, then away.
"Daniel Jackson told us that the temple gave him an uneasy feeling,"
Teal'c said when it appeared that the archeologist was not going to respond.
"Uneasy feeling?" Janet looked at her patient. "How so?"
Daniel's gaze was focused on his hands, which were folded in his lap.
"It was probably nothing, just my overactive imagination. That's
what Jack thought." None of them missed the faint hint of anger
in the linguist's voice.
"Well, maybe I was wrong," Jack said, holding out the proverbial olive
branch. "Maybe you did sense something. It wouldn't be the
first time that you were right and I was wrong."
Surprised, Daniel met the colonel's eyes for a moment. Then his
gaze dropped back to his clasped hands. "There was this . . . this
feeling of wrongness. It made my skin crawl," he admitted in a low
voice. "It got worse the closer we got to the temple. It was
really bad in the temple itself, like there was a dark presence all around
me, something evil. I was jumping at my own shadow."
"Why didn't you tell us?" Sam asked, alarmed at what her friend had revealed.
Daniel hesitated for a several seconds. "I didn't want you to think
I was going crazy again," he murmured almost inaudibly.
Sam's eyes closed briefly at the terrible memory of Daniel's time in
the mental facility. "Oh, Daniel. We wouldn't have thought
that."
"Maybe you wouldn't have, but. . . ." Daniel didn't finish the
statement.
'But I would have,' Jack silently finished for him. He gave
an equally silent curse. "Well, we're listening now, Daniel, and
no one here is going to think that you're crazy," he stated aloud.
"Did anything happen in the temple?"
"I, um, thought I heard a voice," Daniel admitted reluctantly.
"It sounded angry. I couldn't understand what it was saying.
I felt something touch me, something cold and . . . and malevolent."
"You should have told us of this experience, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c
stated. "It is possible that some form of life that we cannot see
was residing in the temple and may have been angered by your presence."
Daniel's head finally lifted, and he looked at them. "So, why was
I the only one who could feel it?"
"Well, it's possible that you were the only one sensitive to its presence,"
Sam deduced. "Perhaps only a few people are capable of sensing it."
"So, what does this mean, that the temple is haunted or something?" Jack
asked, not liking the sound of any of this.
"I don't know, sir. We are all very well aware that there are lifeforms
out there that are invisible to us. The Reetou are a perfect example,
and the Nox can make themselves and others invisible."
"The Ancients are invisible as well, unless they choose to show themselves,"
Teal'c added, looking at Daniel meaningfully.
"So, we need to go back to that planet, find this whatever it is, and
find out if it did something to Daniel," Jack said.
"No," Daniel said. "You can't go back there, not ever."
"Daniel, we have to find out what made you sick," Sam told him.
The archeologist shook his head. "It's too dangerous. You
could get sick, too, especially if you go in the temple."
"You let us worry about that," Jack told him.
"No! I don't want any of you getting sick. It's bad enough
that—" His voice broke off abruptly as he gasped for breath.
His face turned ashen, hands clutching at his chest. An alarm sounded
on the life signs monitor.
Janet leapt forward. "What's happening, Daniel? What do you
feel?"
"Chest hurts," Daniel gasped. "Feels heavy, like weight sitting
on it. Heart feels like it's being squeezed. Hard to breathe."
"Shh. Calm down. You're experiencing a severe episode of
atrial fibrillation. Your heart is skipping beats, having a hard
time maintaining a steady rhythm. Your lungs are also struggling
to pull in enough air. Just relax. Try to take slow, deep
breaths."
Daniel attempted to do as Janet said and managed to draw in a deeper
breath, then another one as he pushed past the alarming feeling in his
chest. Slowly, his heart rate stabilized and his breathing grew
easier.
"Good, that's good, Daniel. Okay, you need to rest. I'm going
to lower the bed, but only partway. Please try to get some sleep."
Janet lowered the back of the bed about a foot, then she shooed everyone
out of the infirmary.
"Janet?" Sam said, seeing the expression of deep concern on the physician's
face.
"It's not good," Janet admitted. "Daniel's oxygen saturation levels
are dropping. As you can see, he's having difficulty breathing,
and his heart is having a progressively harder time doing its job.
I'm afraid that he's going to have more bad episodes like that as time
goes on. If the functioning of his kidneys is decreasing at the
same rate as his heart and lungs, we'll have to put him on dialysis soon.
And then there are the effects to his liver to worry about. I'm
concerned by the marked decrease in his condition after so short a time.
Whatever is causing this, it's moving fast."
"We must return to P7Y-359 to determine what has caused Daniel Jackson's
illness," Teal'c stated, looking as if he was going to insist on it.
"I agree," Jack said. "If some invisible . . . thing did this to
him, then I'm damn well going to find out why and how it can be reversed."
"As Chief Medical Officer, I cannot condone your return to that planet,"
Janet said. "Daniel is right. You would be putting yourselves
at risk by going there."
"So, we're supposed to just sit back and do nothing as Daniel slowly
dies?" Jack asked angrily. "I don't think so."
"If we're right about this, Daniel got sick because he went into the
temple. As long as we don't go in there, we should be okay," Sam
reasoned. "Maybe if something is there, we could talk to it, attempt
to reason with it. We have to try."
"Let's go talk to Hammond," Jack said.
The SG-1 teammates went to the general's office.
"Sir, request permission to go back to P7Y-359," Jack immediately said.
General Hammond looked at the expressions on the faces of the people
in his office, seeing both worry and determination there. "Have
you determined that the cause of Doctor Jackson's illness is on the planet?"
"We think that the area wasn't as abandoned as we originally believed,"
the colonel told him.
"Daniel admitted that he felt a presence in the temple," Sam explained.
The general's eyebrows rose. "A presence?"
Jack nodded shortly. "Yeah, and we want to find out what it was
and if it's what made him sick."
"What does Doctor Fraiser think about this?"
"She doesn't know what to think, General. She has no answer for
what's happening to Daniel. We don't have an answer either, but
there's a good chance that, if we go back to P7Y-359, we'll find one."
Jack met Hammond's eyes. "Please, sir. Daniel is running out
of time."
Hammond gave a quiet sigh. "All right, you have a go. But
I want you to take every precaution to avoid being exposed to the same
thing that Doctor Jackson was. To be on the safe side, wear Hazmat
suits, and do not under any circumstances touch anything without proper
protection."
"Yes, sir."
A short while later, the three healthy members of SG-1 were suited up
and waiting for the gate to engage. They had with them containers
used for transporting hazardous materials just in case they found something
that they wanted to take back to Earth.
As SG-1 walked through the gate to P7Y-359, they all shared a single
desire, that something they found would save their friend and teammate.
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