CHAPTER TWO

Sam's second session went very well, and Eliza had every confidence that the major would be one of her success stories.

After the session was over and the therapist was removing the sensors, she said, "Doctor Jackson is your teammate, isn't he?"

"Uh huh."

"Then you've known him for a while."

"Around six and a half years."

"He's a very interesting man."

Sam smiled, thinking that Daniel had apparently gained himself another female admirer.  "Yes, he is.  I can honestly say that I've never met anyone like him.  For one thing, he is one of the most brilliant people I've ever known."

"Yes, I read his file.  He can speak twenty-three languages, right?"

"Actually, it's probably around thirty now.  He's picked up a few since he first got involved in the program.  And that's not counting the dead languages that aren't spoken because no one knows how.  Counting those, I honestly have no idea how many languages Daniel knows."

Eliza looked at Sam.  "Are you aware of the success of my first session with him?"

"Yes, Daniel told us about it.  I was pretty shocked."

"I've never heard of a case like this.  I'd swear that he's had training in biofeedback before, yet he claims that he hasn't.  Is there any reason why he'd lie?"

Sam shook her head.  "Daniel is a very honest person.  He only lies when he has to, like for the sake of a mission."

"That's the impression I got, but I wanted to be sure."

"If Daniel told you that he's never done biofeedback before, then it's the truth.  Count on it."

"Thank you, Major.  I suppose that you have no idea why Doctor Jackson did so well."

"Sorry.  I can't help you there."

"All right.  I guess this is just going to have to remain a mystery."

Daniel came in a few minutes after Sam left.  Eliza got him settled in the chair and hooked up to the machines.

"Okay, Daniel.  You told me about your headaches, and we seem to have found a way of taking care of those, but is there anything else you didn't mention before, some other physical ailment?  I noticed that you have a slight limp today."

"Oh, I was shot in the leg a while ago.  It still bothers me a bit if I've been on my feet for a long time.  As a whole, I'm pretty healthy, unless you can do something about this."  He tapped on the frames of his glasses.

Eliza gave him a smile.  "No, I'm afraid that biofeedback can't correct vision problems.  Sorry."

Daniel returned the smile.  "Oh, well.  It was worth a try."

"So, nothing else?"

There was a short pause.  "Well, I, um . . . occasionally have trouble sleeping," Daniel admitted a little reluctantly.

"Oh?  Do you have trouble getting to sleep or do you wake up frequently?"

"I, uh . . . have nightmares."  Daniel shrugged self-consciously.  "I've had a few pretty bad experiences in my life, and it affects my dreams sometimes."

"Is this a recent problem?"

Daniel shook his head.  "No, I've had it since I was eight years old."

"Eight?  That's very young.  Did something traumatic happen to you?"

Daniel stared at her closely for a long time before answering.  "I saw my parents get crushed to death beneath an Egyptian coverstone."

Eliza drew in a sharp breath.  She hadn't expected anything like that.  "I'm sorry, Doctor Jackson.  I didn't mean to stir up bad memories."

"It's all right.  It was a very long time ago.  And please call me Daniel."

Eliza smiled and nodded.  "Certainly, but only if you call me Eliza."

"Eliza."

"So, after you have a nightmare, you have difficulty getting back to sleep?"

"Yes."

"Okay.  As you may recall, I mentioned yesterday that I want to see how well you do in controlling your brainwaves.  Those who can learn to control their own brainwave patterns can put themselves into various mental states, including meditation and sleep.  Now, you said that you occasionally meditate?"

"Uh huh."

"Then you've already used a form of control over your brainwave patterns.  Theta is the brainwave pattern that the brain is usually in during meditation.  It's also present during REM sleep.  The next lowest on the scale, the lowest of all, is the delta wave pattern, which is the pattern shown during deep sleep.  If we're successful, I believe that we'll be able to make it possible for you to put yourself into a deep state of sleep so that the dreams don't bother you.  At the very least, you'll learn how to place yourself into a delta wave pattern for periods of thirty minutes, which can give you the equivalent of two to three hours' sleep."

"That would be nice, especially on the nights before a mission or when I've been up late working on a translation."

"Yes, but it's not a permanent substitute for real sleep, Daniel.  The mind and body need that downtime."

"I know."

Eliza gave him a smile.  "Now, some frequencies in the theta range have been used to treat sleep disturbances.  Also, frequencies in the high alpha/low beta range, from twelve to fifteen hertz – which is called the Sensorimotor Rhythm – have been used to treat a variety of sleep disorders, including nightmares.  We might want to give that a try.  Hopefully, we can reduce the frequency of your nightmares.  At the very least, we can make it easier for you to get back to sleep after you have one."

Daniel gave her a nod, thinking that any help at all with his nightmares would be welcomed.

"All right, then.  Shall we begin?"

Using an electroencephalograph, Daniel was shown his brainwave pattern on the computer screen.  Eliza patiently guided Daniel through an attempt to slow the frequency of the wave pattern.  When, after a couple of minutes, there was no response, Daniel recalled how he would put himself into a meditative state and decided to change tactics.  Immediately, there was a response as the pattern began to slow.

"Excellent, Daniel.  I've never had a patient who could manage this so fast, though, since you have some experience in meditation, we can expect an increased ability to bring your pattern down into the lower frequencies.  What we need to do is give you precise control of what frequency you reach and maintain.  For now, let's aim for fifteen hertz."

Daniel's brainwave pattern gradually slowed until he was at the desired frequency.  He then had the challenge of keeping it there, which turned out not to be all that easy.  After a few minutes of the frequency rising and falling a little, he succeeded in keeping it right at fifteen hertz for a solid five minutes.

"Great job, Daniel," Eliza praised.  "Again, I'm impressed.  How are you feeling?  Can you detect the difference from how you felt at the beginning?"

"Yes.  I feel more relaxed."

"That's understandable.  Now, in time, you should reach the point where you will be able to feel the minute differences in your mind and body at the various frequencies.  When you reach that stage, you may no longer need the readouts to guide you to the frequency you want.  But that will be a ways down the road.  For now, let's take you lower.  Shall we shoot for twelve hertz?"

A short while later, Daniel was there.  Having learned the trick of how to stay at a certain frequency, he was able to do so quickly this time.

"How do you feel, Daniel?" Eliza asked quietly after a couple of minutes.

"I feel. . . .  Wow.  I feel great, like I'm. . . ."  Daniel's voice trailed off, unable to think of the proper word.

"Centered?"

"Yeah," the archeologist agreed after a moment.

Eliza smiled.  "Twelve hertz is an important frequency.  It is used for centering the mind and body.  It is also used for gaining mental stability and to stimulate mental clarity."

Daniel closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling he was experiencing.  As Eliza had said, he felt centered, his mind crystal clear.  It was a great sensation.  He wondered if he'd be able to achieve this feeling without the doctor's guidance or the EEG readout.

Eliza let him stay at that frequency for a while, then asked him to take it lower, down to nine point six.  Wondering what other things he'd experience, Daniel complied.  As he reached the requested frequency, he began to experience a feeling of "floating" and told the doctor so.

"Yes, that does sometimes happen at the low alpha frequencies.  Alpha waves are often detected during dream sleep and is a pattern that typically occurs during daydreaming.  Eight point six to nine point eight can be used to induce sleep, which is why I asked you to go to this frequency.  There are some studies that indicate that nine point zero can be harmful if maintained for any length of time, so you might want to steer clear of that one.  The same goes for several other frequencies, which I will teach you.  So, do you feel like you could go to sleep right now?"

"Actually, yes, I do," Daniel replied in a very quiet voice.  "I'm also feeling sort of a tingling sensation."

"Also normal.  Okay, before you put yourself to sleep, let's go lower.  We're going to be getting into the theta range now, Daniel, which is likely what you experience during meditation and what we're in during REM sleep.  I want you to try for seven point zero, which is a frequency used for the treatment of sleep disturbances."

As Daniel's brainwave pattern dipped lower and lower, he experienced the same feelings he did while meditating with Teal'c.  He felt extremely relaxed and peaceful but also highly aware of himself.  He fought his natural inclination to close his eyes and continued watching the readout as he arrived at the desired frequency.

"Are you doing okay, Daniel?" the therapist asked in a low voice after a few minutes.

"Yes."  The archeologist's reply was also pitched low, his voice utterly calm.

"How are you feeling?"

"I feel. . . ."  Daniel's reply faded away.  He knew this feeling.  Something about it tugged at his memory, but he couldn't pin it down.  His eyes slid closed as he sought to remember.

"Daniel?"

Eliza's query went unanswered.  There was something, something he should remember, something important.

Daniel's thoughts were halted by a hand on his shoulder.  Daniel looked up into Eliza's face.  She smiled down at him.

"Hey.  I think you were starting to fall asleep there."

"Um . . . no, I was just trying to remember something."  Realizing that the feeling was gone now, Daniel looked at the monitor and saw that being disturbed from his thoughts had caused his brain wave pattern to leap back up into the high alpha range.

"Well, I think that's enough for today.  You did very well, Daniel, remarkably so, in fact.  You are, without a doubt, my most apt pupil.  I have no doubt that you'll be able to solve your problem with sleeping in no time."

"That would be great.  Thanks, Eliza."

Daniel left the room deep in thought, still nagged by the feeling that there was something he should be remembering about the way he felt while he was at that last frequency.  Daniel toyed with the idea of trying to achieve it on his own tonight, but dismissed the thought, figuring that doing experimentations on his own wouldn't be a good idea quite yet.

The next day, Eliza took him down into the lower theta range and then into the delta range, though the latter was very hard to achieve since he kept wanting to drift off into sleep.  Finally, he managed to remain conscious and at a specified frequency for several minutes at a time.

"You did very well, Daniel," Eliza praised at the end of the session.  "I think our next step will be for you to get to the point where you can feel the little differences from one frequency to another.  Once you can do that, we'll see if you can reach and stay at a certain frequency without the monitor."

And so it was that, for the next few sessions, Daniel learned to recognize the feelings that each target frequency engendered within him.  After that came his attempts to reach those same frequencies without the readings from the monitor to guide him.  Daniel found that, without the monitor, it was a whole lot harder to control his brainwave patterns, but he finally started experiencing some success.  At the same time, he learned how to get rid of his headaches without aid.

Shortly after Daniel had completed his most recent session and left, Janet came in.  "So, how is your star pupil coming along?" she asked Eliza.  The doctor had been getting regular reports from the therapist and knew that Daniel was weeks ahead of everyone else on the base in regards to his training.

"Marvelously," Eliza replied.  "I cannot believe how far he has come in such a short time.  It's amazing.  I doubt that he's going to need my help for much longer.  He's already reached the point where he can control many of his bodily functions all on his own, without the equipment or my guidance.  That goes for his brainwaves as well.  He's going to attempt to use what he's learned to put himself to sleep tonight.  I have no doubt that he'll succeed."  The therapist smiled.  "You know, if I wasn't already married. . . ."

Janet laughed.  "Join the club.  Many of my nurses are at least halfway in love with him.  He tops the list of the most eligible bachelors on base."

"He seems like a great guy."

"That he is."

They talked for a few more minutes, then Janet bid the therapist goodbye.  Instead of going back to the infirmary, she went to Daniel's office.  When she got there, she found him sitting utterly still at his desk, his eyes closed and a peaceful expression on his face.

"Hey, Janet," he said after she'd been standing there for only a moment.  His eyes opened, and he looked at her.

Surprised, the doctor did not immediately respond.  "How did you know it was me?"

A faint look of confusion touched Daniel's features.  "Um, I guess I recognized the sound of your footsteps.  You're the only one on base who wears shoes like that."

Janet glanced down at her footwear.  "Ah.  Well, I just came by to see how you were doing.  Doctor White says that you're just about ready to graduate from your biofeedback training."

"I'm doing fine, good actually."

"No more problems with headaches?"

"Well, I still get them, but I know how to make them go away now."

"That's good.  I'm getting reports that the biofeedback is also helping some of the other SG team personnel that suffer from the Stargate-induced headaches, and I'm beginning to see some improvements in blood pressure and other stress-related problems."

"Then it's turned out to be a success, despite all of Jack's grumbling."

Janet smiled.  "Yes, it has.  It's too bad that the colonel isn't more open-minded about it.  I can't help but think that the biofeedback would help him as well."

Daniel shrugged.  "You know Jack."

"Yes, I do."  Janet came further into the room.  "So, how are things going for you otherwise?"

"All right.  Why do you ask?"

"Doctor White said that she was helping you with a sleeping problem."

Daniel grimaced.  "Oh."  He knew that, being the base's C.M.O., Janet was being kept informed of all of the results of the biofeedback training, but his problem with nightmares was not something he had ever revealed to her.  Now that the cat was out of the bag, he didn't know how she was going to react.

"You know, Daniel, you could have told me about the nightmares," Janet chastised gently.

"It isn't a medical problem, Janet, and there isn't anything you could have done about them.  And I would not have been willing to talk to a shrink about them, especially after what happened before."

Janet winced internally.  It was no surprise at all that Daniel didn't fully trust psychiatrists, not after he was wrongfully diagnosed with schizophrenia and thrown into a padded cell.  It had taken a long time for him to relax in the presence of a psychiatrist after that and far more time to willingly speak to one in a professional capacity.

"You could have told me as a friend," Janet said.

"I don't talk about them with anyone, Janet.  Jack, Sam and Teal'c know about them only because I've had a few nightmares while on missions.  After all these years, I've learned to live with them.  It's not like I have them every night.  Most of the time, I'll go weeks without having one.  They only get bad every now and then."  Daniel gave her a reassuring look.  "I'm fine, Janet.  Really."

"All right, but the next time you have a problem with them, Daniel, I want you to talk to someone.  I don't care who, just someone."  She glanced at her watch.  "I need to get back to the infirmary.  Doctor White said that you were going to try putting yourself to sleep with the biofeedback tonight.  Let me know how that goes.  You look like you could use the rest."

Once Janet had left, Daniel got back to work, though his concentration was no longer fully on his job.  The truth was that he was a little tired.  He'd been putting in a lot of overtime recently, partly due to the Telchak device that he and Bill Lee found in Honduras.  He had managed to translate the writing on the device, which gave them a lot of valuable information on it.  With that information and a detailed examination of the device itself, Jacob Carter hoped that the Tok'ra would be able to devise a weapon to destroy Anubis' supersoldiers.  The device was presently at the Alpha site, which was fine with Daniel.  He wanted nothing more to do with the thing and hadn't been all that happy about having to come in close contact with it while he was translating it.  He was still having occasional nightmares about the torture he suffered at the hands of the Honduran rebels and the effects the Telchak device had on those men.  The nightmares had taken on many different forms, the most terrifying of all being ones in which one of his teammates was killed by the rebels, then turned into a murderous zombie by the power of Telchak's device.  In one particularly horrible version, all three of them were.  Jack would probably make some wisecrack about Dawn of the Dead if he knew.  As for Janet, she'd probably insist that Daniel "talk to someone" right away, which is why he hadn't mentioned them.

Wrapping up the work he had to finish that day, Daniel chose to go on home instead of starting on the next project.  It was getting late, and the rest of his work could wait until tomorrow.

After eating a late dinner, Daniel decided to do a little meditation.  Normally, he only meditated with Teal'c, but since he started working with Eliza on controlling his brainwave patterns, his interest in meditation had increased.

Thinking that it might help his concentration, Daniel lit a candle and placed it on the floor in his bedroom.  He turned off all of the other lights and settled on a cushion, crossing his legs Indian-style, his back against the bed.

Focusing on the candle flame, Daniel went through the procedures he'd learned in his biofeedback sessions, gradually lowering the frequency of his brainwaves.  At last, he achieved the theta frequency.  He floated there, slightly unfocused eyes still upon the candle, his chest rising and falling slowly.

Daniel lowered his wave pattern down to seven point zero hertz, the frequency that had seemed so familiar to him, and, just like before, he began experiencing a feeling that nudged at his memory.  When had he felt this before?

Alone and with no one to disturb him, Daniel closed his eyes and tried to bring forth the memory.  For several moments, it teased at his mind, and then, all at once, he knew.

'Oma,' his mind whispered.  This is what he had felt in the temple when the monk was teaching him how to light fires and move objects with the power of his mind.  Well, actually, it had been Oma who did those things, but Daniel was certain that, during his lessons with the monk, he had achieved this state of mind.

Daniel's eyes slid open, and he stared at the candle flame.  Though he knew it was silly to even try, he concentrated on the fire and willed it to go out.  As expected, it remained stubbornly lit.  Daniel smiled internally at his own folly.  Of course it didn't go out.  As he had said to Oma, he had no power.  It was she who did, and she was not there with him this time.

Closing his eyes again, Daniel let his mind drift.  Unawares, he slipped into a very light sleep.

"Hello, Daniel," said a familiar voice.

Daniel looked at the softly glowing figure before him.  "Oma?"

"Remember what the monk said, Daniel.  Power is in the knowing, and in the knowing is found power."

Before Daniel could make a remark about the woman's insistence on being cryptic, her form faded away to be replaced by the image of a bright candle flame.

"The light must be extinguished before you can find illumination," said Oma's disembodied voice.

'One of these days, maybe I'll actually understand everything she says,' Daniel muttered to himself.

Looking at the flame within his dream, Daniel thought about her last sentence.  Could she have literally meant that the light had to be extinguished?  Sensing, somehow, that it was very important for him to try, Daniel concentrated upon the flame, turning his will to the task of putting it out.  A breathless moment passed, then, abruptly, the dream flame vanished.

With a start, Daniel awoke, his head jerking upward.  His gaze fell upon the candle before him, and he went absolutely still, staring in disbelief.  The flame was out.

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